relationships, Uncategorized, život

Your relationship will fail and here is why

Relationships, romantic or friendship ones are failing in a quick rate. It’s much harder to manage traditional views than ever. 21st century is like game of individuation. If you can keep your individuality inside a relationship, you may have a chance to succeed new age (not like newage)relationship.

Many of the relationships around me keep failing. Reasons are mostly similar, it’s almos a tragic comedy. Couples usually meet, fall in love, spend around 6 months to a year together before they fall apart in a blame game.

It’s even interesting that you can follow their timeline together. This will be brutally honest, I was this person once & I still am in the morning , especially when I wake up.

  1. First date could be the most exciting thing for everybody. On first date we wear specially built in masks to represent ourselves in the best light. Good clothes, showered, parfume, and extreme energy to do what ever our partner pleases. Yes!! You are the one I wanna go to Moon with,baby. Thinking about what future might be like, with this person (aka molding their mask to match ours). This is usually when we become interested in things other person is doing and we unconsciously immitate it. Oh you like video games? Me too! You like zombies, me too!
  2. Intense meeting times. This also could be called a beautiful time in a relationship. Some at this point will completely forget about what they did in the past (like hobby, something that seemed important to you prior to meeting this person) and you find yourself making excuses to spend more time with your newfound love, adjusting, compromising. You feel different, almost not recognizing yourself anymore.
  3. Meeting the family could be an option, and it could turn great but it could also turn into taking more and more responsibility and expectations that you will slowly but surely burn to prove her/his parents worthy. You learn about family secrets and relationships inside it, and how are dynamics functioning.
  4. First big fight (6m-1yr) I had one couple claiming they never got into a fight (they were dating for 4months at that point)…and 2 months later they broke up. Relationships are here to be constructivly built together, even if that means arguing & settling the story straight. Fighting (arguing) is healthy, we don’t need to yell or use force but we need to communicate the issue as soon as it comes up. Longer the issue stays, shorter the time for break up.
  5. Resentment & ping pong blame game – part of relationship everyone hates and begs angels and devils for help. Masks are off, we see other for what they really are and we’re shocked, hurt, sad that person is not who we thought they was and…we pray for breakup. At this point some will go and look for a piece of themselves in others, some will ask for “alone time” (also bs because we yearn for warmth & saftey) while others will try to sit down with partner, see what can be done about it and find strength to go through rough period. And it’s everything except easy since all those arguments made us feel resentment and anger towards our significant other, we feel more like smacking them to hell, than smooching and rebuilding the whole thing.
  6. Change is good, for both individuals how ever scary it sounds. If you wish to stay forever together you must be ready for a change. Change in your life and environment. You might move in together, or your partner moves somewhere else. Someone from your close circle might die, you may lose your job. But being supportive and loving, empathetic can make all that a bit easier.

Of course… If someone is abusive or harmful choose another story.


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