With this Jupiter getting comfortable in Scorpio, along with other things, I couldn’t help but notice how many relationships have ended.
So your relationship failed. You felt from the start that it was doomed, but you went there anyway, convincing yourself that things are going to change, or that your love is so strong, it will endure anything, or that it’s all part of a plan, or…
Well, it just might be me shitting on hard aspects in synastry; but you know, as soon as you have to intellectually convince yourself for the third time that it’s gonna be ok, it’s a sign that it simply isn’t, and it won’t ever be.
Don’t get me wrong – some of you might just love the thrill, the fight, the dynamic relationships; if that’s what gets you off, cool. But if we are talking idealism in terms of love and unity, the disrespect and frequent anger episodes are just a plain fail.
Of course it is all part of the plan, but it’s not a heaven’s plan for your poor ass to be the next St. Raphael ; your portraits hanging across the world saying «the soldier of love». -You’re not a poor martyr suffering for love or any other shit like that.
You deserve to be energized and respected!
It’s universe’s plan for your growth through pain, really. So you can know better next time!
That is, a horrifying transit which hit you right in the middle of that terrible progressed moon that you just can’t win with. Add that to your conditioned mindset of «I-have-to-love-someone, that’s-what-people-do» and picking that random dude cause you know, it was faith, and here you go – you got yourself a nice little volatile relationship.
Let me explain.
You meet the person. You feel this «unexplainable attraction». You get together. Oops, there hasn’t been a week, and there’s already been a scene. Another week passes, you think the new scenes are just an extension of the first one and its gonna go away when you settle it. A month passes, now you think you got to know him/her and how to handle the situation.
Problems again. You are actually considering a breakup. Meh, no, just a moment of doubt, you love him/her, right. It’s all in your head, right.
Another tiresome month, now you gradually realize you’re in some deep shit and don’t really know what to do, emotions bursting like crazy, somewhere deep in your heart you remember that thought about breakup but you don’t want to be the pussy to give up, so both of your start doing stupid, hurtful things to each other just to test your «love».
Both of you fail, of course, cause y’all full of fucked up squares in your Natal chart, but whatever, you decided to forget it all and turn a new page.
Now you changed some things – it seems fine for a short period.
Who is it?
Problems! 😀 Long time no see!
(sorry for the bad humour… my Mercury is retrograde.)
Probably the same ones, but in sheep’s skin. You go along… dragging, draining each other, desperately trying to change, either yourself or the other one. This can go on for years. Decades.
And then one day you both realize – this is not love. Hell, there isn’t even basic respect, it is just some fucked up emotional game you started to play to entertain youself, then played along to test your strength, then played along to see how far it goes, then played along to…
At the same time always convincing yourself it’s love, it’s life, I mean in the end he/she can help you with your work, he/she’s smart, he/she…
You see where it came to. It doesn’t have to be that way.
And the longer it lasts, the harder it is to let go, the pain is stronger, because you gave so much. All that time you dedicated, your precious hours, years; emotions, sacrifices. It’s difficult to build a house with your bare hands and then to just give up, right?
But you know, your foundations were weak from the start… your bricks were sinking into mud, all the time, and you just kept adding new ones… It’s not a house to live in.
But don’t you regret it! Be super glad that it happened cause oh boy, how much you learned. (It’s a good idea to write down all the things you learned, you know..just in case.. it’s a high price you paid to just lose and forget them gems!)
You just need to accept, that you were simply two wrong people at the right place.
That its nobody’s fault, even though your massive martyr-wannabe-ass ego thinks your partner had done the wrong of the century, the sin of the sins. That he/she is like this and like that, that he/she lied, cheated, fought, hurt, played dirty.
That all may be true ; but remember – one’s wrong is the other’s right, and that’s the way it always was, always will be.
A Sag Venus’ sign of love will be a night out flirting with girls/guys of all kinds and then rushing into his lover’s arms saying «But I chose you, yanno», while a Capricon Venus will see that as a perfect reason to hang that someone on the town’s main square.
A Scorpio Moon might want to know where and who have you been with that Friday night, but an Aquarius Venus will find that super-threatening, freedom-limiting and oppressive.
The point is, neither is originally right or wrong! It’s just the differences. Differences you chose to look away from, hoping your similarities will get you out. But somehow they haven’t. Yes you can adapt and change; yes you can (you must!) sacrifice for the one you love, but only so much. Your Saturn square Venus will kick in, time after time. Your Pluto square moon will, too.*
And after some time, there will be nothing left. Just the suffocation. In the best scenario, you don’t have anything to sacrifice anymore, and then you realise – there is nothing left.
«After he/she had done this/that, i couldn’t trust him anymore, this is where it all went down»
Nah, it was like this all of the time, the difference is just that you had hope. That invisible little thing that screws you over and over again.
Because the truth is, people don’t change for other people. They don’t change because of other people.
Luckily, this is an astrology blog so I can express my fatalistic astrological viewpoint shamelessly – people change when transits and progressions and solar returns say so.
There, I said it!
You can easily backtrack this.
For example, everything was cool, right? And then came your birthday (with your Solar Saturn in 7th, and his Uranus square Venus transit approaching..)
Something changed. Why?! What?!
«Yeah , but it’s him/her.. after he/she entered my life, I completely changed…»
Yeah, but who do you think brought him/her in your life? Santa Claus? No, that nasty Pluto transit to your Venus is who brought it. And the truth that people are so afraid to admit (execept some Sagittarians probably <3) is – if it haven’t brought him to you, it would have brought someone else.
Someone else Plutonian, Uranian, Jupiterian… whatever your transit is.
If you don’t believe me, you can always harass your ex boyfriends/girlfriends to ask their mothers for their birth time and check your data.
And it’s ok, you know. If it was meant to be, it would have been.
And don’t obsess, don’t pity yourself, don’t try to glue it again. Yeah next weekend he will probably sport fuck that ugly little Scorpio Venus hoe he’s always using for rebound and healing his emotional suppression and trauma, but who cares, really?
Soon enough you’ll be the star of the show again, shining that light he turned off so long ago. You will find your value again, and you’ll thrive.
He’s not what you wanted anyway. Come on. How many times have you had to talk yourself out of fantasizing about that Aries guy. Or have you..?
Or a good TV show, that works too.
*Please note that the examples of aspects I am using are a mere caricature and a scheme for depicting. They do not suggest that all the people who have a certain placement in their Natal chart are going to behave the same way or react the same to given situations.
Artwork by Grace Miceli (ArtBabyGirl)